Over the years, I have had an evolving temperament. At some point, I was very extroverted, loved to share, spent a lot of time with people, and generally had energy for almost everyone. After one year of working in the corporate environment, that changed and by the time I was on my way to Business School, I knew I had become introverted, being around other people drained more energy than it gave me. I would be at parties and sit in a corner sometimes, it didn’t mean I didn’t enjoy the parties, I did, I just had very little interest in engaging with other people.
For a person who used to enjoy people a lot and suddenly wants the peace and quiet of weekends at home, I know that sometimes, when I walk the streets I keep my head down, and even in rooms where opinions are shared, I try not to draw attention to myself. These days, however, I have been walking around DC a lot and I am learning to lift my head when I walk. The streets I walk happen to be busy, and so I want to keep my head down because too many people keep cat-calling me but I feel an uneasiness whenever I notice that my eyes are on the ground and not looking ahead so I whisper to myself softly, “head up” and I lift my head and keep it steady.
You know when Chimamanda says “we teach girls to shrink themselves”, I am noticing that I shrink myself too, and maybe I am teaching myself to shrink myself which is absolutely terrible. I was on a call once with two men, we were doing a simulation of running a business and I couldn’t get a word in. I was letting it slide then the very talkative one finally asked my opinion and as I started to speak, he began to speak over me so I calmly said, “would you let me finish” and I realised that in telling myself “head up” when I walked the streets, I unconsciously was telling myself to lift my head in these rooms too.
To chin-up is to remember that you are important irrespective of your temperament. It is to know that you deserve to be in that space, that your face and your opinions are valid and even though sometimes, we undo our greatness with our own hands, we can fix it by simply raising our heads. Raising your head does not mean looking down on others, it just means learning to walk in a way that allows you to look forward.
